Being an “accompanying mother” comes with challenges, such as language barriers, restrictions on employment, feelings of isolation, cultural adjustments, and often putting their careers and lives at home on hold.
One such mother is Alin Ling, 36, who cares for here nine-year-old son, Edward, while he attends Grade Three at Elwood Primary School, in Melbourne’s south.
Ling admits that occupying her day while her son is at school can be a challenge.
“The days feel both fast and slow, sometimes the day seems to pass by quickly after taking him to school to play for a while,” Ling said.
When Ling sees her son climbing trees or jumping from heights at school, she worries, but she also understands she cannot completely suppress her child’s nature. However, she still walks her son to and from school everyday.
“He really wanted to go to school by himself, but a few dangerous intersections are on the way. I plan to let him try going by himself next term,” she explained.
Since arriving in Melbourne, Ling has been overwhelmed by the kindness of her neighbours.
“My neighbours are amazing!” Ling exclaimed. “When I first moved in, I met a mother with two daughters. She was very friendly and introduced her family, telling me I was welcome to use the equipment [the play equipment in the shared backyard] at anytime.”
While Ling readily admits she is not a good cook – she learns new recipes by reading the Coles food magazine – she uses the skills in origami and paper cutting she learnt as a kindergarten teacher in China and, whenever her son has activities at school, she makes props for him. During school holidays or in their free time, they often do craft or build Lego together.
Most accompanying parents are mothers. It is difficult for father’s to get a visa to accompany their children, but it does happen. One father who accompanied his child to study told her he was the only one of five fathers who applied at the same time to receive a visa.
“During my twenties, I worked hard and made my way, so now I’m used to handling paperwork, using maps, and going shopping independently,” she said. “This experience can be both a sacrifice and a journey of mutual growth.”
Alin Ling, an ‘accompanying mother’, sometimes enjoys peaceful walk only St Kilda Beach a or a visit to the local supermarket after dropping her son Edward Pang off at school. Ling lives near Point Ormond and often reflects on the beauty of the sunsets in the area.
Ling, works on her laptop in a cabinet in her bedroom. She assists her husband by managing visa-related documents and organising files. Ling collected the decorative branches in the vase on the cabinet from a nearby park.
Ling shows off a giant pinecone she found while walking home, after dropping her son at school. She picked it up from a grassy area to decorate her room. Ling sprays the pinecone with a pleasant scent, turning it into a natural air freshener.
Ling studies English at St Kilda Library, about 20 minutes from home. She has signed up for a library membership, which allows her to access online English courses. She attends in-person classes at the library every Tuesday and Thursday to improve her language skills.
One afternoon, accompanying mother Alin Ling walks to the St Kilda Library with her son, Edward Pang. Ling regularly visits the St Kilda Library after dropping her son off at school to borrow English books and study by herself.
Ling and her son, Edward Pang, fold colourful paper in their living room. Ling, a former kindergarten teacher in China, is skilled at origami and paper cutting. She often does these activities with her son during their free time. Pang keeps his favourite creations in his room.
Ling, tidies the kitchen of her rented apartment.
Ling reads a Coles food magazine in the living room, hoping to improve her cooking skills. Her son, Edward Pang, who is sitting nearby and coughing due to illness, turns around to listen to her as she reminds him to take his medicine after eating.
Ling and her son Edward spend time in the backyard of their rented apartment in Elwood. Edward holds a red ball with a cheerful smile while Ling stands in the background, watching him with a warm expression.
Edward eats pizza while using a tablet. Their living room has a TV, plants, and a bowl of hazelnuts they collected. Sunlight streams through the windows, brightening the space.
Alin Ling and her son Edward Pang walk to Edward’s nearby primary school. Despite being on holiday, Edward wants to visit the school to play, so Ling accompanies him. Ling put her arm around Edward or held his hand as they walked.
Ling and her son Edward Pang play at Edward’s primary school, Elwood Primary. Despite the school holidays, Edward wants to come and play. They balance on the parallel bars, competing to see who can hold on the longest.